Private Vices, Public Virtues (1976)

Crown Prince Rudolf, son of Austro-Hungarian emperor Franz Josef, is said to have committed suicide at his hunting lodge in 1889, supposedly because he was unable to marry the woman he was in love with, Baroness Marie Vetsera. Vetsera was found dead with Rudolf, and there's been some debate over the last 120 years as to whether they really took their own lives. Miklos Jancso's Private Vices, Public Virtues is about the days leading up to their deaths, and I'm no historian but my guess would be that this nudityfest departs significantly from what actually happened. The story is a little difficult to follow, partly because of the way the film was written and partly because of the way it was edited, so you'll forgive me if I get a detail or two wrong. What I understand of the plot follows.

Omnisexual Rudolf (Lajos Balazsovits) has been enjoying an incestuous three-way affair with the son of a prime minister and his sister while doing his best to avoid his wife, whom he despises (I think she's the only person in the entire film, male or female, that Rudolf doesn't try to bed). He surrounds himself with fellow hedonists, and a large band of musicians follows him around wherever he goes (these are the only characters that spend more than 50% of the film with their clothes on), providing a jovial soundtrack for his non-stop mischief. One of his constant companions is his former nanny, who raised him from birth and apparently did such a good job that he kept her around to help him with things like drying his penis after he climbs out of the pool. Rudolf's days are filled with drink, debauchery, and various pranks, most of which are aimed at embarrassing his father or his father's soldiers.

The film opens with Rudolf cavorting about in the nude (which is more or less how he spends the entire film). He rolls in the hay (literally, not figuratively), dances around, and jumps into the pool. He fires a gun into the air to see if it will awaken his sleeping wife, and when it doesn't he lifts her dress, removes her underwear, and leaves her exposed posterior to redden in the sun. Then he gives his former nanny a ride on his bicycle, stops so she can urinate into a hat,

and then relaxes in a haystack while she gives him a handjob.

Later Rudolf and his friends decide to throw a massive party, get everyone drunk, and have themselves an all-out carnival of carnality. They invite a good hundred or so guests, spike their champagne with an aphrodisiac powder, and keep everybody dancing. Clothes soon start to come off, and before too long everyone's at risk of serious full-body sunburn, so they move the festivities inside.

One of the guests is Mary Vetsera (Teresa Ann Savoy, who would later appear in Salon Kitty and Caligula, here as Therese) who, as it turns out, is a hermaphrodite (long before Mark Wahlberg wore a thirteen-inch prosthetic penis so that Jessie St. Vincents in theaters all over the world could exclaim "You are [Dirk Diggler]!" Savoy was fitted with a somewhat more modest four-incher that was convincing-looking enough that Ashley Judd cornered her at a Caligula twenty-year reunion party at Bob Guccione's New York mansion and begged to see it), and I guess Rudolf falls in love with her (in any case, he vaginally penetrates her with his penis and then she anally penetrates him with hers).

While all this revelry, buggery, and general naughtiness is going on, Rudolf is receiving increasingly strongly-worded threats from his father, who's embarrassed by his heir's behavior. Rudolf takes these threats no more seriously than he takes anything else, and he regularly humiliates the soldiers who deliver his father's messages. When the soldiers bring him a letter from his father, Rudolf marches out to greet them in the nude, tells them he needs to take a bath, half-listens to the general's attempt to explain why he's there while two young women soap him up in a washtub, drops his father's letter into the water without reading it, and then sets his dogs on the soldiers. When the soldiers later return to arrest him a couple dozen or so naked men and women grab the general, force him to dance for them, roll him around in a hay cart, then yank his pants down and watch as Mary anally rapes him. Rudolf is all set to lavish the soldiers with further such hospitality on their next visit, but before he can do so he, Mary, and his two other fuck friends are shot and their bodies are arranged in such a way that it appears that they've committed suicide. Geez, what assholes.

If you like your cinema brimming over with male and female full-frontal nudity, this is the film for you. If you don't, well, there's really not all that much else here.  Also called Private Vices, Public Pleasures.