We wanted to start a feature where we answer your questions but since we have fewer than five readers (counting us) for now they will have to be questions we either ask each other or find on the Internet. Our first question comes from darktone, who asked me (and anyone else reading) the following on an IMDb message board on July 27, 2005:
"Would it be [Shannon] tweed or would it be [Shannon] whirry? Which of them had better counterparts or 'assistants' in their soft-core flicks? If you could choose only one of them which would it be? Why didn't they do a soft core movie together? Would you like to see them in a threesome with another guy in a movie?"
1. "Which in better in the B-movie area? Would it be tweed or would it be whirry?"
I have to limit this comparison to movies I've seen, so for Whirry it's The Granny,
IMDb Plot Summary: "Granny's family wants her dead so they can collect her insurance. While she is on her death bed, she drinks an eternal life potion and returns to the land of the living. She is on a mission to wreak havoc over her greedy relatives."
IMDb Keywords: Castration / Good Versus Evil / Female To Male Foot In Crotch
IMDb User Review: "My only complaint is that I can't figure out for the life of me why movie-makers will always put glasses on a female character (who is obviously very attractive) and then act like all the characters think she's ugly. Is being visually impaired such an ugly thing in America? Well, anyway .. "
Dangerous Prey
IMDB Plot Summary: "On a trip to Europe, a woman gets abducted and soon finds herself in a training facility for female mercenaries. In deed, a doctor and his wife manipulate the women into killing. If they do not comply, a chip inserted into their brain will kill them."
IMDb Keywords: Czechploitation / Rape / Shower / Lesbianism
IMDb User Review: "This is not legitimate entertainment by my own standards … It defines as a 'damsel-in-distress' show in my dictionary, and that's sayin' it! Shannon Whirry holding a gun on the front box cover is the reason to get excited. Well, DUH!!! What's with all the lesbians, the nudity, the S&M??? They have absolutely NOTHING in connection with this supposed-to-be action thriller, don't you agree?! Movie writers and directors need to come up with better talents in putting a figurine out to play 'Kill' instead of throwing in some useless sex and wasted duplications. So far, nothing's changed."
and Fatal Pursuit.
IMDb Plot Summary: "A rugged ex-cop P.I. and a beautiful British female insurance investigator [Yes, that's Whirry] search for diamonds that were stolen in a brutal robbery."
IMDb Keywords: English Accent / Sarcasm / Sex
IMDb User Review: "I especially like the way our Yanni-looking leading man (who aspires to Jimmy Buffet-ness) and B-movie queen Shannon Whirry (whose English accent fades in and out in even single lines) attempt to banter and have chemistry; it's laugh-inspiring. Plot? Who knows! All I can tell you is that Malcolm McDowell had reached his low point here. Avoid this movie at all costs!"
This is the trade-off with YouTube. If you want to find a clip of Shannon Whirry's "sexy legs in black stockings" you have several choices. If you want an example of her English accent in Fatal Pursuit, no luck. I'll try to make up for it with bonus IMDb User Reviews:
"One of the first scenes it the movie shows people getting shot up. some guy somehow gets caught on fire and falls into death next to a parked limo. he is about a meter away and the limo explodes. this is the highpoint of the movie and it wasn't even good."
"I loved the relationship between our heroine and the hero. They obviously went all out to provide a study in contrasts, he a beer drinking slob from the Big Easy, and she a stuffy British bird who is not easy at all. And it worked! I wasn't familiar with the actress; I noticed in her listings she is something of a 'B' queen, and I greatly appreciated her showing her wares (the film's dialogue comments, after she gets drunk and our hero brings her to bed unconscious, that she is a '10,' and that not far from the truth. ((Those who might lecherously ask, 'What, me Whirry?'… the answer would be a resounding 'yes.')) By the way, let me jump ahead and provide another reason why I liked this film... it broke the rules, in this scene. Normally, the hero would be too much of a gentleman to take advantage of a lady in this state of stupor, but our cad of a hero actually did! I thought they were kidding, and at the end it was going to be one of those, 'naw, I was a good boy' sort of thing, but that was positively ground-breaking..! Certainly only wonderful in movie terms; in real life we'd be talking downright contemptible, date-rape without question. She actually tells him, once she wakes up in the morning and over the phone, 'I hope you used a condom.' And her character was meant to be uncool!) So I loved this relationship. And our hero... whom I see from his listing has a tendency to cast himself, as the producer of many of his own vehicles... looked like a real hunk a' man as we used to appreciate in the old days, good manly build (in a natural way, without the superficial buff) hairy chest and all. And even though he was a rapist, there was a soft side to him .. "
For Tweed it's Scorned,
IMDb Plot Summary: "A man so desperate for a promotion prostitutes his unwilling wife to his boss. Then despite this sacrifice, another man is brought in to take the position and the first man is faced with a demotion and potentially being completely ousted from the company. Humiliated, he chooses to commit suicide. His wife then vows revenge on everyone involved and manipulates her way into Stevens' home as a tutor to his teen son. Of course, what she teaches is not on a school curriculum. She further starts poisoning his wife, while seducing her and her husband. Everyone, of course, is set against each other. But none of the group think of blaming Tweed."
IMDb Keywords: Boxer Shorts / Bubble Bath / Rear Entry Sex / Underage Smoking / Staring at Someone's Breast / Father and Son Have Sex with the Same Woman / Basketball / Surprise Ending
IMDb User Review: "The seduction/sex scene with Andrews' son is one of the best scenes in any soft core porn movie. The way Mrs. Tweed comes into him, how she uplifts her dress and later rides him is brilliant.
But the scene that has changed the genre is the pool table sex scene (maybe not at explicit as in 'Body Chemistry 4') where Tweed leans and Andrews' does her behind. Her face, her moans, the whole scene is worth your money."
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
IMDb Plot Summary: "The government hires a feminist at the local university to track down the Piranha Women living in the uncharted Avocado Jungle (westernmost outpost is San Bernardino) to convince them to move to a reservation condo in Malibu. She hires a guide [Bill Maher] at the edge of the jungle, a male chauvinist pig, and they have many arguments about men and women as they work their way in, and eventually confront the Piranha Women."
IMDb Keywords: Gender Roles / Government Conspiracy / Piranha
IMDb User Review: "Bill Maher plays a light-hearted chauvinist who teaches a tribe of sensitive men all about beer and corvettes. Seeing Bill Maher in purple bikini underwear before being put into a pot to stew, and having him discover a carrot in the pot and uttering the words 'What's up Doc' is very worth the viewing experience.."
and Meatballs III: Summer Job.
IMDb Plot Summary: "A dead porno movie star returns from the beyond to help a nerdy teen to score with the beautiful wife of the owner of the camp he is spending the summer working at. Wow." (I don't know if I've ever seen a "Wow" at the end of an IMDb Plot Summary before.)
IMDb Keywords: Yanked Off Bikini Top / Good Samaritan / Roman Numeral in Title
IMDb User Review: "I used to think Meatballs III was the best in the series. But after a while, I realized I was wrong. None of the films are actually all that funny … Part II involved some kind of Martian thing hiding among the campers."
"How was this movie pitched? Angel from Heaven needs to teach a virgin how to bang a chick. And she is not just an Angel, she is a Porn Star Angel. If it was meant to be a joke, I did not laugh. ackkkk My intestines have exploded. DO NOT EVER SEE THIS!!!!"
The Granny = Cannibal Women, Scorned no Fatal Pursuit (Tweed doesn't have an English accent in Scorned) and Dangerous Prey no Meatballs III. I'll use their "A-movies" as a tiebreaker. For Whirry there have been two. Out for Justice, which I don't recall her in, only William Forsythe.
So, I'll lift a review of Whirry's performance from The Goddess and The Genius.
"This was Shannon Whirry’s first movie role. She plays Terry Malloy, a cocktail waitress who tips Gino [Steven Seagal] to a crooked cop’s double life. She probably doesn’t have more than 5 minutes of screen time, but she makes an impression. Gino refers to her as 'the one with the nipples you could dial a phone with.' Unfortunately, she spends much of her time on-screen weeping first at the death of Bobby and then at the shock of discovering another woman murdered. Also, even more unfortunately, Shannon affects a really bad Brooklyn accent, which mercifully fades out after a few moments. [Another accent. Whirry's a chameleon.]
Just cleavage this time around. But she does get a great little scene when Gino escorts her out of the nightclub. She’s wearing a bustier top, which is absolutely incapable of containing her busom. Even though Gino is getting a divorced, he does not fall for Terry’s obvious charms. Combined with his pony tail and beret, it makes you think maybe Gino is gay."
Also Me, Myself & Irene. I'm not going to embed the YouTube clip, but here's arcticfox2276's commentary: "thats really her boob [Jim Carrey's] sucking. he was really embarressed. he said he kept applogizing to her between ever take. she didn't give a crap because she's a failed actress." I disagree. I don't think she "[gave] a crap" because
Tweed's includes Hot Dog… for Girls, um, I mean The Movie. I've never seen it and Hector, our site's resident Ski Movie Expert, is currently unreachable. You can't get cell service up on the K-12. That leaves Detroit Rock City. I was born in between Generations X and Y. (Different birth years count for each depending on your source.) This has its advantages. One is that I was both too old for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and too young for KISS. I don't have to bother with or pretend to enjoy things like the TMNT reboot (Elias Koteas is Elias Koteas to me, not "Casey Jones") or Detroit Rock City.
Whirry in better in the B-movie area.
2. Which of them had better counterparts or 'assistants' in their soft-core flicks?
Isn't Tweed Whirry's counterpart, and Whirry Tweed's? That's made redundant by another question, so I'm ignoring it. What do you mean by "assistants," guy who asked these questions six years ago? Co-stars? That's Whirry. Her movies also starred Harry Dean Stanton (wait, what? Harry Dean Stanton was in Playback and the video cover advertises George Hamilton's involvement?), Malcolm McDowell (twice), Charles Napier, Timothy Bottoms, Bo Svenson, Rip Taylor, William Devane, Maxwell Caulfield, Jan-Michael Vincent, David Carradine and Nick Cassavetes (you may know him as the son of John and Gena Rowlands or the director of She's So Lovely or The Notebook; I know him as Packard Walsh from The Wraith, so he's my Elias Koteas/"Casey Jones"). Tweed had Lance Henriksen, James Gammon, James Brolin, Erik Estrada, Jim Brown, Steven Bauer and Andrew Stevens (more than twice).
3. If you could choose only one of them which would it be?
Choose one for what? To rub her modesty patch against a guy's stomach in a B-movie? I'm going to defer to the pundits from IMDb:
"Rack and face to Tweed. Acting to Whirry." -- djspock
"well, whirry has these erotic tongue technique o i go with whirry!" -- Pinduchitti
"How do you know about this erotic tongue technique? I don't know about erotic tongue technique but she sure nuff had a great pair of erotic jugs." -- m_wonderful
"Tweed was prettier, but Whirry has those bigger, floppy rib-pillows. So this presents quite a quandary." -- mcfly-31
"Shannon Whirry very, very easily .. Those enormous boobies were just great .. " -- m_wonderful again
"Tweed has implants. Therefore she loses. I like pie." -- Samoan Bob
4. Why didn't they do a soft core movie together?
That's a good question. Pacino and De Niro had Heat, why didn't Tweed and Whirry have Fatal Heat, Dangerous Heat, Private Heat, Indecent Heat, Hard Heat, Night Heat, Cold, uh, Heat, Sexual Heat, Twisted Heat or a remake of Body Heat (with Whirry as William Hurt and Tweed as Kathleen Turner) or Dead Heat (with Whirry as Treat Williams and Tweed as Joe Piscopo)? Professional rivalry? No company could afford both? A disagreement over what kind of accent Whirry would be allowed to try? I don't have an answer.
5. Would you like to see them in a threesome with another guy in a movie?
Who's the guy? If it's Harry Dean Stanton, "yes."
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