Hector's Five Most Unpleasant-Looking Gunshot Wounds

5. True Romance (1993)

Mistakenly thinking it to be White Boy Day, Clarence Worley (Christian Slater) arranges a meeting with (barges in on) his wife's employer (pimp), Drexl (Gary Oldman), in order to discuss terms for prematurely terminating her business contract with him (kill him). When Drexl rejects Clarence's initial offer of one thousand air molecules and Clarence expresses an unwillingness to negotiate further, voices are raised (punches are thrown) and legal action is threatened (guns are drawn). Drexl has a crack legal team (a violent disposition, a lot of guns, and a large bodyguard named Marty) in his employ and he soon appears to be on the verge of winning an extremely favorable judgment against (killing) Clarence, but Clarence finds a clause in the contract (gun) that effectively nullifies the agreement (enables Clarence to...well, just watch:)

Hector's Five Sickest Projectile Vomit Scenes

If there's one thing that makes me want to fuckin' puke, other than warm beer, it's a half-assed vomit scene. I realize that in real life people don't repaint the walls with partially digested food when they throw up, but one of the purposes of film, and of art in general, is to show us something we don't witness every day. If I wanted to see someone produce two cubic centimeters of saliva-colored liquid after retching over a toilet for fifteen minutes, I'd go to a frat kegger. There's a reason that I sit around and watch movies all day and all night instead of going out and interacting with the outside world, and that's that I'm a lazy and misanthropic bastard. Oh, and also that real life is boring, and if I couldn't escape the depressing mundanities of everyday existence (an existence in which vomiting humans can't be used as backup fire hoses) by watching people launch their lunches into low Earth orbit in films like those described below, I'd... well, I suppose I'd get more exercise. But the point is this: If you're going to take the trouble to put a vomit scene in your film, do it right. If you're not sure how, read on.

Hector's Five Wackiest Rape Scenes

A few days ago, I was watching a somewhat recent film (whose title I won't mention lest I be accused of spoiling it) that featured a scene in which a character was raped by a not-quite-human creature. The movie wasn't particularly good, but this scene did lead me to mentally catalog some of the more bizarre screen rapes that have occurred over the years (particularly in the 70s and 80s because -- let's face it -- films are a hell of a lot tamer and less creative now than they used to be). Here are the wackiest five, and if you feel I've left out an important one, say so.