A Viewer's Guide to the Characters of Boogie Nights (1997)

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A Viewer's Guide to the Minor Characters of Heat (1995)

Heat was a Los Angeles Crime Saga that employed a quarter of the actors in Los Angeles. You may have seen it once years ago. If it wasn't to your taste there isn't anything I can say but if you didn't get as much out of it as you might've because of the difficulty in keeping a couple dozen characters and subplots straight I can be of help. I've watched it about as many times as there are speaking parts in the film [hold for applause] so I've created a cheat sheet for you to print out and consult the next time you watch it. 

So You Want to Become a Vampire

Whether or not to let yourself be turned into a vampire is one of the biggest decisions in a person's life and like every important decision it can be based on what we've seen in movies. Say some tall stranger with pale skin, awesome hair and a vaguely Slavic-sounding name sits down next to you at Sbarro tonight and asks "Do you want to become a Creature of the Night, my child?" Don't be put off. That's how they talk. (It's how you'll talk, too. That's your first warning from me.) Calmly ask him to produce some fangs. If he can't, find the nearest mall cop. If he can, it's decision time. Will you be ready? I don't believe you will, so I've come up with a list of things to consider before baring your neck.

A Star's a Star

If we've learned anything from American Idol (other than that music isn't a form of personal expression, it's something to have on in the background of a Ford commercial) it's that pop singing is easy. We were a couple of decades late to this realization but that's not our fault. We're not stars of film and television. They decided that way back in the 1980s. Let's look at some of their most famous efforts.