Charlie Spradling, Part 2: A Scream Queen for a New Generation

The Blob (1988)

With the October 1988 release of The Blob, a remake of the 1958 classic, horror enthusiasts were treated to their first look at what should have been, and for a very brief period was, the next female face of horror. Many of the major scream queens of the late 70s and early to mid-80s had either gone on to successful careers outside of the genre or begun to see opportunities dry up. Some of the greats were still as active as ever (Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer still make several horror appearances a year), but the horror genre needed a fresh face, and Charlie Spradling had all the qualities one looks for in a scream queen (a beautiful face, a great body, a sense of humor, and a willingness to take off one's clothes) in spades. But could she scream?

The 1988 remake of The Blob was directed by Chuck Russell and co-written by Russell and Frank Darabont. The film takes place in a small, woodsy California town called Arborville. Arborville is such a small town that it needs only two law enforcement officers (Sheriff Herb Geller, played by frequent Darabont collaborator Jeffrey DeMunn, and Deputy Bill Briggs, played by Paul McCrane) and the night shift at its hospital is apparently staffed by only one doctor (Jack Nance). The town's economy depends heavily on winter tourism, but an Indian summer has a lot of residents worried that the skiers and snowmobilers that used to flock to Arborville will be seeking whiter pastures for the third year in a row.

The action begins when a homeless guy sees a meteorite crash in the woods. When he investigates, he gets some sort of slime on his hand and is unable to get it off. The ooze seems to be alive, and whatever it's doing to the man's hand is painful enough that he tries to hack his arm off with a hatchet. Brian Flagg (Kevin Dillon), the town delinquent (we can tell he's a delinquent because he wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle, and also because Sheriff Geller tells us so), witnesses this and wrests the hatchet from the old guy, who then runs into the woods. Flagg, who saw the goop on the geezer's hand and is either curious or concerned, chases after the vagrant. The old guy runs out of the forest, into the middle of a road, and gets hit by a car. The driver of the car is town football hero Paul Taylor (Donovan Leitch), who's out on his first date with cheerleader Meg Penny (Shawnee Smith). Flagg runs out of the woods and the three load the old man into the car and drive him to the hospital (which is more like a doctor's office).

After sitting around in the waiting room for a few minutes, Flagg leaves and Paul goes to check on the old guy. Unfortunately, the old guy is now sans legs and lower torso, and Paul suspects the pink slime is to blame (that, or the guy got hold of another hatchet and went to work on himself again). Paul goes and grabs the doctor, who takes on a shocked sort of expression,

calls for a nurse, and then just seems to kind of go away. Where does he go? I'm not sure, but Paul runs into his office to call the sheriff. Unfortunately, the blob is there waiting for him, and this happens:

The cops arrive and Meg's parents come to take her home. No one seems to believe her story. The doctor is MIA so he can't corroborate it, and, really, an old guy whose torso has melted away? That could've been anything, and it was probably that punk Brian Flagg. Word has it he melted away some other guy's torso last year. Luckily, the cops have already picked up Flagg on suspicion of who the hell knows (he just shows up at the scene in the back of a squad car), so they run him down to the station for interrogation.

Meanwhile, the blob is making its way around the town, dispatching its citizenry and growing bigger with each new kill. Sheriff Geller lets Flagg go because he doesn't have any evidence and Meg decides to sneak out of her house so she can recruit Flagg to help her save the town from the oozing menace. When she learns that her younger brother and his friend Eddie have gone to see Garden Tool Massacre at the Victor one-screen she runs to fetch him. She arrives just in time, too, because she's able to catch what's gotta be the best scene in the movie.

 

Charlie Spradling (“Coed”) in Garden Tool Massacre:

 

For a couple milliseconds I thought he said, “He Hot Karls her to death.” If not for that shot of the curling iron I'd still think that now. Still, as interesting a thought as “Hot Karling” a sorority girl to death might be, the only ways I can think of “hot curling” one to death seem even more twisted. By the way, am I mistaken in thinking that a curling iron is not a garden tool?

So anyway, the blob shows up and ruins the movie for everyone. Where that curling iron was going to go we'll never find out. Does Meg save her brother and his friend from the blob? Does the blob engulf Arborville and make its way toward Sacramento for the sequel? Do Meg and Flagg get it on? These things you can find out. Watch The Blob and see!

And so the question of whether or not Charlie Spradling could scream was answered in the affirmative. But in order to be officially initiated into Scream Queenhood, she had to show that she could take her clothes off and die in gruesome fashion. Horror fans would only have to wait until the November 1988 release of Twice Dead to see her do that.

Twice Dead (1988)

In Twice Dead, directed by Bert L. Dragin, Harry Cates (Sam Melville, who died a few months after the film was released), a former business owner who has fallen on hard times, moves his family into a dilapidated mansion he inherited from his aunt. His son Scott (Tom Bresnahan, credited in this and several other films as Tom Breznahan) and daughter Robin (Jill Whitlow) have apparently both been accepted at the local university.

When they arrive at their new home for the first time, they find a gang of hoodlums loitering on their front porch.

That was Charlie Spradling leaning against the car. Her character's name is Tina. Silk (Christopher Burgard) is the ringleader. The creepy guy with the switchblade is Crip (Jonathan Chapin). The pig astride the hog is Melvin (Travis McKenna). The big guy is Stony (Shawn Player). And the other girl is Candy (Joleen Lutz, who evidently used to be a Chicago Bulls cheerleader).

The cops run them off this time, but the hooligans make it clear they'll be back. There's no way they're going to cede their turf to this bunch of yuppies.

The Cates family moves in and Scott sees something weird.

Eventually the family settles in and things continue without incident for a while. Then one day Scott is invited to join a pick-up basketball game as he and Robin are walking home from school, and

I assure you, Charlie does speak in this movie. But we'll get to that...

Dad tries to teach Scott not to be such a pussy,

and then he and Mom head back to Colorado for a couple weeks to take care of a legal matter. The kids can't go because they have midterms. Meanwhile, some spooky shit has been taking place at the Cates residence, and Scott thinks it might be haunted by the ghost of his great aunt Myrna's lover, an actor from the 30s named Tyler Walker. It seems Tyler had fallen so hard for Myrna that he'd signed his mansion over to her. Myrna then left him for another man, and in case that wasn't enough to get her face on the cover of Bitch Magazine she sent some guys over to evict him from the house he'd given her. Tyler had gone quite crazy by this point, however, and had begun believing this mannequin

was his beloved Myrna. To keep her from leaving him he stabbed Myrnaquin in the back and then hanged himself.

While Scott's trying to sort out the house's history so he can figure out who's haunting it and why, Crip, who has an enormous hard-on for Robin, breaks into the place while Candy waits outside. The others show up a little later.

Tina stays outside to make out with her boyfriend. Jesus, those jeans. The fuckin' 80s, am I right?

Inside the house kids wearing leather jackets are dropping like flies.

Stony manages to escape by throwing himself through a window.

But it all turns out to have been an elaborate prank cooked up by Scott, who borrowed some goodies from his Theater Special Effects classroom, and Robin, who swiped some chloroform from her biology lab. Silk is pretty pissed when he finds out. He vows revenge.

 

A few nights later Scott falls asleep on the couch, but he's awakened by

 

Now if I had directed this film I would have had Melvin grab that head off the shelf and stick his dick in its mouth.

But then, there's a reason they didn't let me into film school...
 

Dad's attempts to teach Scott not to be a pussy didn't work, and he ends up practically handing the shotgun over to Silk.

Crip's got Robin up in her bedroom. Tina and her boyfriend have gone up to the Master BR to get the film its R-rating. Scott is tied up in a chair. Everything is going smooth as, well, silk, until Melvin has to go and motorcycle rape Myrnaquin

 

and then all hell breaks loose.

Fortunately, Tina and Cheeta don't hear all the commotion. It's remarkable how soundproof these old houses can be.

Things do indeed heat up.

 

 

Hey, that's my brand.

A mysterious wind topples the bottles and they fall onto the cord for the electric blanket,

which Cheeta then grabs.

There oughta be a warning label...

Not such a bad way to go, though, all things considered.

So, wait, did that current pass into Tina through his dick? I like to think that's what we're supposed to believe, but she did have her hands on his chest.

And with that, Charlie Spradling is officially a scream queen. Not only that, she's the most promising scream queen to come along in years, perhaps ever.

You can imagine the rest, but it's much more fun to actually see it. It's available as a DVD double feature with The Evil.

Mirror Mirror (1990)

In 1990, Charlie delivered one of her biggest and best Scream Queen performances in Mirror Mirror, directed by Marina Sargenti. Credited simply as Charlie (she dropped the “Spradling” for a little while in 1989 and 1990), she played Charleen Kane, a rich, popular girl who's running for Class President.

Megan Gordon (Rainbow Harvest)

and her mother (Karen Black)

have just moved to a new town from Los Angeles following the death of Megan's father. They've just bought a house from the estate of an eccentric old lady, and when they arrive at their new home they find that a mirror has been left in Megan's new bedroom. The realtor offers to have the mirror removed, but Megan says she wants to keep it and asks her mother to purchase it from the estate.

Nikki Chandler (Kristin Dattilo) is running against Charleen Kane for Class President, but she's worried that she's being outspent and that her bra size is going to lose her points with voters. Her boyfriend Ron tries to be supportive.

Yes, that was Stephen Tobolowsky as the teacher, Mr. Anderson.

Megan has difficulty making friends on her first day of school.

Nikki picks up Megan's books and goes after her.  She finds her in the restroom, and tells her not to worry about Charleen Kane and her asshole friends.  She and Megan become pals.

Hey, look who it is.

That's right.  It's Tom Bresnahan (again credited as Breznahan), Charlie's Twice Dead costar.  He plays her boyfriend, Jeff, in this movie. 

Meanwhile, Megan's been noticing that there's something strange about that mirror in her bedroom. She's been having weird visions, and it seems that the mirror is making things happen when she wishes for them.

When Charleen Kane and her friends continue to pick on her,

 

Megan guiltily believes herself to have been responsible for the result.

Megan's mother invites William Sanderson, the operator of a local pet cemetery, over for dinner. Oh, and his character's name is Mr. Veze.

The harassment continues,

 

and Megan's personality begins to change. It seems she's becoming more and more possessed by the mirror. More bad things happen.

Megan, Nikki, and Ron attend a party thrown by the Kane campaign.

“A better student body.” She's sure got my vote. Nikki isn't exactly Stephen Tobolowsky herself, but, come on, let's not kid ourselves.

Megan looks pretty good without all the eye makeup,

and Jeff asks her to dance. Charleen is jealous.

What the fuck?

Megan, now fully under the control of the mirror, begins killing off her enemies.

Charleen takes her clothes off.

 

 

 

 

 

And never puts them back on again.

Now it's up to Nikki to break the spell the mirror has over her friend before whatever has come over from “the other side” destroys them all.

Mirror Mirror goes off the rails a little bit toward the end, but it's highly recommended overall.